FAREWELL…I DIDN’T DIE FROM HIV!!! – By Jadee Dafielmoto


Let me share to you our story…

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I dated this guy back in 2009. Hesitant as I am believing he is too good for me, our love story wasn’t even given a chance to bloom like a fairy tale romance. Years gone by, we were both out of reach and chose to forget the past.

5 years later…

I watched this film starred by Gerald Anderson, and it flashed back memories of him (I used to call him Gerald as they really look a like) and suddenly tears fell down my eyes.

During his stronger days, we used to talk alot and shared dreams hoping to make it a reality. We laugh at our corny jokes and spent every Christmas together because we are both alone during Christmas. Until the 3rd Christmas that we failed to celebrate it because he became very sick. Unrecognizable, from that Gerald Anderson aura to someone unknown to many.

He struggled and he didn’t say anything about his condition. And I never asked. I felt he’s agony, depression and melancholic days and nights for I know the dream he shared with me might no longer come true. But I was still hopeful.

He put himself to oblivion. His name was in total silence for many months and I missed him as a friend so I decided to wave and said I missed him. To my surprise he replied with a sad face. Then I got my courage to ask questions… “Why?” Many speculation rose from his very close friends that he is HIV positive and that was the reason for his abrupt weight loss and unrecognizable appearance like a skeleton walking in areas of Pampanga. So I asked… “Are you?” He then smiled and started sending me all his medical records from day 1 until 9 days before he past away.


I was sad upon reading the medications, prescription and the hospital bills amounting to millions as I know they spent this much because he wanted to LIVE… He want to live the dream he promised… That dream that would never happen. In our judgmental minds we perceived truth based on what we see even with no proof or basis. So we take away the chance to know the real story.

YES, the increasing number of positive reported HIV cases is very alarming that if we continue to shrugged off this issue, it would be a catastrophic start for our future generation. Is there a way to end this? I am starting to be bothered by the generalization that all GAY men’s death are caused by HIV/AIDS, when in fact it is NOT.

YES, it is true that men-having-sex-with-men are the main contributors of HIV positive cases but to generalize the GAY cause of death is unfair and discriminatory. Can we just show our deepest condolences for his passing rather than scrutinize his cause of death? Can we just mourn for a while ? Can we just act as a friend and not as investigators and the source of spreading the negative rumors ? You will NOT die from HIV. People don’t die from having HIV necessarily, they die from not knowing they have HIV. Henceforth, HIV doesn’t kill people… not knowing is what kills you.

As an HIV awareness advocate, this is my challenge to every person I speak with… HOW CAN I HELP THEM UNDERSTAND that being gay doesn’t mean we’re carriers of HIV/AIDS? That being GAY means Happiness, Color, Pride and Excitement…That there’s a more lucrative aspect of being gay! Now… how can I spread the good words to those naive and immature minds?

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Ako si JADEE nagmahal, nasaktan, nalungkot, nagsulat, nagpakasaya, at di matatakot na magmahal ulit kasi sabi nga "kaakibat ng pagmamahal ang masaktan". Samahan nyo ako sa kwento ng buhay at bigyan ng kulay ang dilim ng mapanghusgang lipunan . Wala kabang mapuntahan ? Tamumbay ka muna SA PILING NI JADEE DAFIELMOTO! Tara, usap tayo


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